i hate my life.

I feel like I can die from this heartbreak.

 I'm so mentally tired omg it's not even funny.

All this better be worth it, please?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PARDON ME, AM SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER MAD MAD MAAAAADLY IN LURVE WITH MAAAA ROOM NAO

He wasn't even a quarter this friendly to his Singaporean fans....................... TSK

Yours to keep

Michelle Cheong Xin Yi is a pig.
One skinny, smart, and silly pig.
And I love this pig so much.
So much more than I ever have or ever will love somebody else...
I love this pig mostest.

Ahh, I love the entire world in you, pig.

I just feel like blogging

So uhm, my current maid is gonna balik kampung in a couple of days whoohoo so happy for her >:) Of course I have a new one coming in but then my parents finally did some magic and build a new room just for her ;) This also means that I have my room all to myself WHOOP but on second thoughts, how am I going to survive the kinda "i-just-watched-a-horror-film" nights.......Need to grow up and grow some balls too........ Lol k abrupt end ADIOS~

Feeling random

Surprises me all the time how you still work fine after falling off the table, or the bed, from my hands probably a gazillion times.......(although now the screen is like a television screen with bad signals meh)

anw, moral of the story is
MY MACBOOK IS ONE STRONG MOTHERFUCKER Ahh so prouda you son.

God I miss cuddling with you )':

Please ):

Sigh, may the odds be ever in thy favour.

'A girl is happiest when she knows you make her your everything, in front of everyone, for every time.'

With your voice like nails on chalkboard....

Like how they say... the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment.

So expect less of me mum, I'm sick of being reminded every time how I'll never be capable of making you proud. Thanks...?

"That feeling when you just want to forget everything and curl up into someone's arms"

Your arms, please

But baby, can we make up now? Cause I can't sleep through the pain..... #nowplaying

i'm so bored i'm considering to slice some gingers

It'd be different if you were the one chasing. I guess it's true that the one that loves more gets hurt more.

Obamaself tonight

some comforting words would be nice....

Need you to need me.

Need a jug of beer, one stick or two
And you.

Might just turn out to be the happiest ending for everyone.

At the end of the day, I'm only one big step closer to proving myself that I never will be good enough for anybody. Not my parents, let alone you. 

It sucks to know how much unhappiness I am capable of causing. 

I might as well just die.

And the itch to hurt myself comes again.
It's just fucking crazy how all the pain seems to overflow.

Oh wait, I forgot how you feel is always more important than how I feel.

Understand, don't assume.

Just because I played on the piano along with her means I'm happier with her?

What fuckery?

do you ever feel like breaking down?
do you ever feel out of place?
like somehow you just don't belong, no one understands you.
do you ever wanna run away?
do you lock yourself in your room with the radio on turned up so loud, no one hears you screaming?
no, you don't know what it's like when nothing feels alright,
you don't know what it's like to be like me...

to be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark.
to be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around.
to be on the edge of breaking down but no one's there to save you...
no, you don't know what it's like..
welcome to my life.

I know I should never inflict pain on myself but..... I need somewhere else to hurt even more rather than my chest, my heart.

I am stupid. 

I'm really scared

Do you.... still love me as much?
No wait, do you.... even love me now?

This hurts so bad I really miss lying on your naked chest, nicely fitted in your arms, under your blanket in the heavy rain..... I miss you





Fuck la, 2 days are enough to kill me inside out......

Can't wait.

I don't get it

"Because when I get too happy, something bad will always happen."

True story

And then I question myself again

Am I causing you too much hurt? Am I being too selfish?
Am I making you happy at the very least?
I know I'm not good enough, no doubt am a failure too.
So am I...... am I really worth you?

Just another day when I think way too much for my own good

I shouldn't feel this way, I know... but I'd die a bit inside, whenever I go through that one very bitter sweet post. Oh how it horribly tugged with the heartstrings ☹
... Wish you would love me the way you loved(?) her......
Ahh shut up, need to stop doing this to myself

Can't help but to be selfish when it comes to you

Even the slightest thought of it is enough to kill me

Don't ever want to see you with anyone else....

Michelle Cheong Xin Yi

P.S So thankful for you for being there for me every time :') I love you

Excuse me, you're messing with the wrong bitch

So like..... something happened lately between this two "friends" and I & it's sad how I don't have enough middle fingers to tell them exactly how I feel. In case you douches didn't know, it hurts. It hurts like a bitch but depressingly enough, not one single fuck was given that day. Zzz, I don't fucking get it? If i didn't do my part, I'd totally understand but nigga puhleaze.....I did everything you asked me to do but ha ha ha you still dare to shoot me down? Seriously guys....... What the fuck? As much as I want to get over it, it's really hard. And whoohoo you guys make it even harder for me by avoiding the matter... What are you? Pussy? Lol, where them balls at? Man up guys. Work so hard at the gym for fuck when on the inside you're just a pathetic wimp. Maybe all I'm asking for is one fucking valid explanation? Got so hard? -.- Whatever la guys......... whatever. Lesson learnt. At least now I know who's true and who's not hah. Don't blame me for the change guys, don't ever.

Your knife on my back? My gun on your head.
Maybe y'all can kindly fuck out of my life. Just fucking maybe guys......

Pfft boys?

Motherfuckers _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_

Wish i didn't have these doubts....

Trying to get over it......

If you could be one age forever, how old would you be?

FOREVER 18 PLZ

Ask me anything. Really, anything.

Sorry, i know i am a loser.

What was your favorite book as a child?

animal farm...lol

Ask me anything. Really, anything.

How do you get through Mondays?

Mondays aren't that bad when I'm still schooling....... I guess I would probably complain and slit wrists and bang wall and punch self till I die if I was still doing my internshit...... hahahaha it's that bad.

Ask me anything. Really, anything.

She was my good friend too, just so you know. How was I supposed to give up my friendship with her overnight?

And. I didn't say you can't talk to her.

Just talk to her if she makes you happier.

No feelings attached, for mine.

If you ask me, I'd say that there is absolutely nothing for you to be worried or upset about..... because we're just friends.

Well you see, the difference is........ you liked her before, I didn't.
In fact, you liked us both the same time. Just that I was the luckier one, you chose me.
Yes I get all insecure and annoying and stupid all the time.......
But it's not like I can stop these questions in my head... (Sorry)
What if you still like her? What if you still think about her? What if I was your second choice all along? What if......... all these motherfucking what ifs.....

I wouldn't know, right?

Aiya. This is stupid. Hate this feeling.
Hurhur... Clearly one redundant post. Oh well
I guess what I'm trying to say is.... you can't compare like that because things.are.different.

Here we go again....

Wow, can you believe this? 2011 is officially over.....(the fuck?!) Still can't get over how time flies! Hmm though it has been a helluva ride, I would say that 2011 has been good to me. Thankful for everything and everyone around. Hopefully, 2012 stays the same or gets better AND AND AND crossing fingers that the mayans' predictions aren't right! I don't want to die at 20 laaaaa ok

Lol, some chapters of 2011.......

1. I'm sure everyone already know about this. Yes I broke up with B.... In a nutshell, we just weren't happy together anymore. And I'm sure my decision was for the better :)

2. On 14 May, I actually lost a friend, forever. That silly girl, dearly missed.

3. Four monthssssss of internshit. Ok it wasn't that bad. Just.. not the kind of thing I want to do yet haha

And to the better times....

4. My 19th birthday party was a blast and I'm grateful that almost all my favorite people turned up hehe

5. Justin Bieber live in Singapore, duh!!!!!!!!!



LAST BUT NOT LEAST.........

6. The best part that I'm super thankful for of 2011? I fell for my best friend, and she loved me back :') It was difficult and awkward initially because we're best buds and it wasn't right to feel that way for her? But I can't help it. It just happen. I did try hard to forgo the feelings, nope, didn't work. It was so tough. Things were already changing. But I'm glad I held on. I'd say the chase wasn't easy. It actually hurt but there were definitely ups too. Still...no doubt, she's worth the pain, worth the wait. She's worth it all. They say forget the risk, and take the fall. I'm glad we did it! No regrets, just love

May 2012 rock my socks and yours.

Happy new year bitches!!!!