Monday, June 10, 2013

Welcome to my life

“If I may be painfully blunt, I never got along with my mother - I had a terrible relationship with her ever since I was a child and we drove each other up the wall. She was impossible to please and her approval was impossible to get - everything I did seemed to make her angry. She hated practically everything I did and was never satisfied. There was no mutual trust, no mutual respect.
It took us such a long time to learn how to have a civil relationship as an adult and if I may be blunt, I will never feel close to her, she will never understand me and I think it’s just way too late to try to foster anything more than a superficial, polite relationship as we spent my formative years so distant and not understanding each other. It sounds really cold of me to say that, but that’s the uncensored truth. Not everyone has happy childhood memories of getting along with their parents but few of us dare to talk about it publicly - here’s a song from my childhood that really captured that feeling of frustration I had with my mother as a child.”
 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

throwback

You didn't just give me the perfect party,
you gave me all of you,
and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I love you so bad M.







P.S promise to talk about the party soon hehe





Sunday, March 3, 2013

hey soul sistaaaa~

So i got myself a new haircut and yes a new toy!!! FINALLY A UKE MUAHA. I know i look like crap but aiyaaaaa be kind guys. Girl(me) just wanna have fun~

Friday, January 4, 2013

Be better, not bitter

Wow time fucking flies. The year that I dreaded the most(doomsday believer here lol) has ended? I can't comprehend guys. I really can't! Am caught in so much mixed emotions right now it's weird. Surprisingly 2012 wasn't too bad! Mostly cos' the world didn't end lol. But that also means it's time for srz businezz and like.. yknow'.. start having thoughts about the future. MEH
I'd really prefer living by day to day. So what am I hoping for 2013....?
Nothing much. Comfortable with letting it come the way it should. Cos I believe everything happens for a reason yup.
One thing though, I'm still quite a puzzle to myself. Sometimes, I think I know myself too well while other times, not so. I don't understand. Like.... I feel 'B' to a certain subject when I thought 'A' should be the right way to feel. I don't know how to explain myself..... but the undeniable fact is, emotions catch you off guard. For me at least. Just when you think you're capable of dealing with some things, reality breaks you and how shameful that you have to learn you're actually that pathetically weak. So year by year, I've been finding out little bits here and there about me. Some of which I may love, while some of which I honestly hate. But I know that it's the way that I am, and I can't do shit to change cos' it's the way I feel. Plus, you can't be flawless, you can't be perfect. That doesn't make sense.
Only thing I can do is try to deal with my flaws differently aite? Instead of letting it get to me so easily, why not practise more mind over matter?
This I guess, shall be my new years resolution whoohoo.
Be a better person that I know I can be.
It's not easy but, watch me.
Muahaha


Cheers to a fucken' new year guys.


Sunday, September 2, 2012

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I feel like I can die from this heartbreak.

Monday, July 2, 2012

 I'm so mentally tired omg it's not even funny.

All this better be worth it, please?

Sunday, July 1, 2012


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PARDON ME, AM SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER MAD MAD MAAAAADLY IN LURVE WITH MAAAA ROOM NAO

Wednesday, June 6, 2012




He wasn't even a quarter this friendly to his Singaporean fans....................... TSK

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Yours to keep

Michelle Cheong Xin Yi is a pig.
One skinny, smart, and silly pig.
And I love this pig so much.
So much more than I ever have or ever will love somebody else...
I love this pig mostest.

Ahh, I love the entire world in you, pig.

I just feel like blogging

So uhm, my current maid is gonna balik kampung in a couple of days whoohoo so happy for her >:) Of course I have a new one coming in but then my parents finally did some magic and build a new room just for her ;) This also means that I have my room all to myself WHOOP but on second thoughts, how am I going to survive the kinda "i-just-watched-a-horror-film" nights.......Need to grow up and grow some balls too........ Lol k abrupt end ADIOS~

Feeling random

Surprises me all the time how you still work fine after falling off the table, or the bed, from my hands probably a gazillion times.......(although now the screen is like a television screen with bad signals meh)

anw, moral of the story is
MY MACBOOK IS ONE STRONG MOTHERFUCKER Ahh so prouda you son.

Monday, June 4, 2012

God I miss cuddling with you )':

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Please ):

Sigh, may the odds be ever in thy favour.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

'A girl is happiest when she knows you make her your everything, in front of everyone, for every time.'

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

With your voice like nails on chalkboard....

Like how they say... the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment.

So expect less of me mum, I'm sick of being reminded every time how I'll never be capable of making you proud. Thanks...?



Saturday, April 28, 2012

"That feeling when you just want to forget everything and curl up into someone's arms"

Your arms, please
But baby, can we make up now? Cause I can't sleep through the pain..... #nowplaying
i'm so bored i'm considering to slice some gingers
It'd be different if you were the one chasing. I guess it's true that the one that loves more gets hurt more.

Obamaself tonight

some comforting words would be nice....
Need you to need me.
Need a jug of beer, one stick or two
And you.
Might just turn out to be the happiest ending for everyone.
At the end of the day, I'm only one big step closer to proving myself that I never will be good enough for anybody. Not my parents, let alone you. 

It sucks to know how much unhappiness I am capable of causing. 
I might as well just die.
And the itch to hurt myself comes again.
It's just fucking crazy how all the pain seems to overflow.
Oh wait, I forgot how you feel is always more important than how I feel.

Understand, don't assume.

Just because I played on the piano along with her means I'm happier with her?
What fuckery?



do you ever feel like breaking down?
do you ever feel out of place?
like somehow you just don't belong, no one understands you.
do you ever wanna run away?
do you lock yourself in your room with the radio on turned up so loud, no one hears you screaming?
no, you don't know what it's like when nothing feels alright,
you don't know what it's like to be like me...

to be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark.
to be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around.
to be on the edge of breaking down but no one's there to save you...
no, you don't know what it's like..
welcome to my life.